Top 6 Tips For Working Through Separation Anxiety
Hey, Mama! Yasmin from Mindful Sleep here. Does your little one lose it every time you leave the room? Do you classify your child as a stage5 clinger? (We definitely classify Kai as one!) If you answered ‘yes’ to either of those questions, then check out these tips below!
Separation anxiety typically starts to occur around 6-8months of age, when your little one starts to realize that things continue to exist, even when they’re not in sight. It’s a cognitive milestone known as “object permanence”.
They start to realize that if you, their most favorite person, are not there, you’re elsewhere. And in that case, you might not be coming back. Cue the meltdown.
While this may be heartbreaking, it’s completely normal! It’s a sign they are learning and have a secure attachment to you.
However this can cause issues with daycare/sitter drop offs, naps and bedtime! While we likely can’t prevent these separation meltdowns completely, we can at least make them a little bit easier on everyone!
LEAD BY EXAMPLE
If you aren’t willing to let your LO out of your sight, then they may feel unsafe if you aren’t there. Designate an area or room where they can explore and play on their own. It is such a small adjustment, but has a tremendous effect!
“I’LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER I GO POTTY.”
DON’T AVOID IT
Learning about separation andreunion is an importantmilestone, so don’t take the pathof least resistance and stay withyour little one every moment untilthey have to go off to
kindergarten. Let them know it’s ok to be upset, but that you will always come back. Explain it in simple terms for them to understand.
KEEP THE OUTING SHORT
START SLOW
During awake times at home, start by leaving the room for a few minutes and slowly increasing that amount over a couple weeks. When leaving baby with someone else, make it a short outing at first.
HEY GRANDMA, YOU BUSY?
START WITH SOMEONE FAMILIAR
Kids usually do better being leftwith a grandparent or familyfriend who they’ve already spentsome time with, and who they’vegrown to trust a little!
So call in that favor mama! Plan on spending an hour or so away from the house for the first few attempts.
SHOW THEM THE SITTER IS A FRIEND
STICK AROUND FOR AWHILE
Hang around for 15-30 minutes.It is reassuring when they seethe sitter is someone you are familiar with! Let them see you talk with or even hug the sitter!This shows your little one that the sitter is safe and you trust them.
ROUTINE BRINGS RELIEF
ROUTINE
Babies & toddlers thrive on routine. Heck, so do us adults! Having a routine in place makes things easier for everyone.
If your sitter knows the steps for bedtime, then your LO won’t be caught off guard with any changes, giving them a sense of relief that the sitter is handling bedtime just like mommy & daddy do.